Reactive dog behavior is often misunderstood. Reactive dog parents are too!
Years ago when I first got involved with working with fearful dogs, I was walking my dog Jake, who was barking and lunging on leash at another dog, when a man passed by and said, “I just don’t get why people want aggressive dogs.”
No reactive dog parent wants their dog to act this way - and not just because it can be embarrassing and makes walks hard. Reactive dog parents don't want their dogs to have to feel the fear and pain that causes reactive behavior.
That's right, Jake wasn’t aggressive. He was scared!
He'd been through trauma and his reactive outbursts were the result. That man passing by made an assumption based on a moment of behavior. Nobody wants their whole life judged based on one moment when they lost their cool! He didn’t see Jake's fear, sensitivity, the positive aspects of his personality or the progress we'd already made toward reducing his fear and reactive behaviors.
That moment has stuck with me all these years later. It reminds me how isolating it can feel to love a reactive dog in a world that unreasonably expects all dogs to be happy-go-lucky get along with everyone types.
Dogs are intelligent, sensitive creatures who deserve our respect and compassion even when they're going through something that makes their behavior annoying or even scary. A dog who lunges at other dogs, barks at strangers, or seems on edge during walks is doing the best they can. I suspect most parents of these dogs are, too.
What Is a Reactive Dog? Understanding the Root of Reactivity
If you’re searching “why is my dog reactive” or “how to help a reactive dog,” you’re not alone. Reactivity in dogs is often rooted in:
Fear or anxiety
Overstimulation or frustration
Lack of socialization
Past trauma or negative experiences
physical illness or pain
Reactive behavior often shows up as barking, growling, lunging or freezing. It can be triggered by anything from other dogs to bicycles to strangers wearing hats. I have a little reactive Cockapoo client whose triggered by puffy coats so I always had to remember not to wear mine when visiting him. My own Shadow Dawn was terrified of basketballs even if they were just sitting on the ground.
As aggressive as these behaviors appear, reactive dogs aren't trying to be defiant or dominant. In fact, the lunging you see is a "distance increasing" behavior intended to scare away the scary trigger. Many animals try to make themselves look big and scary when faced with perceived (even if not real) danger.
Reactivity is your dog’s nervous system saying, “I can’t handle this right now.”
What Reactive Dogs Really Need is Training That Builds Trust
The key to training a reactive dog isn’t harsh corrections or flooding them with exposure to triggers, it’s building their confidence through compassion, structure & communication.
Here’s what truly helps:
🐾 Safe Distance from Triggers
Learning how to keep your dog “under threshold” during walks is a game-changer. That means being far enough from a trigger that your dog still feels safe🛤️. Think about how far you would need to be from a grizzly bear to feel safe?
🐾 Positive Reinforcement Training
Punishment-based training actually worsens reactive behavior in the long run. Rewards based training is the only way to go! By rewarding calm behavior like looking away from a trigger or checking in with you, your dog learns about appropriate alternative behaviors while feeling good about their experiences. Which would you prefer: the carrot🥕 or the stick🪵?
🐾 Decompression Time
What do you want after a stressful event - more of the same or time to regroup? Your dog feels the same! Reactive dogs need time to reset their nervous systems because they go through the world on high alert - as do their parents. Decompression can be quiet time after each walk or avoiding triggers by walking in low traffic areas. Enrichment like snuffle👃 and lick👅 mats that allow your dog to use their senses can also be relaxing. Perhaps taking a nap💤💤 together will give you and your dog the stress relief you need.
🐾 Consistency
Dogs🐶 - like humans - thrive on consistency. Studies show people who are consistent have improved performance, well-being and success in multiple areas of life including habit building, skill development and in maintaining relationships. When you're consistent in working with your dog🐶 on their reactivity, you increase their sense of security & confidence, reduce anxiety, deepen the bond you have with them and improve overall behavior. Predictable routines are one of the best gifts you can give your dog.
🐾 Choice
On average, people make around 35,000 choices each day🗳️, both big and small. That's a lot of opportunity to impact how our days - and lives - unfold. Dogs may not need - or want - to make that many daily decisions but they do benefit from the ability to make choices for themselves. It's important to allow your dog some level of agency because it improves their well-being through confidence building, stress reduction and by creating higher level problem-solving skills. 🗳️Choice also prevents the boredom & restlessness that often leads to destructive behaviors. Dogs who are given choice are also more engaged and motivated in the training process.
Reactive Dog Parents Deserve Support, Too
Do you feel like you walk with your head on a swivel keeping a look out for any potential trigger? Maybe you feel like you must avoid certain areas and only walk at odd hours. Do stressful outings with your dog bring you to tears? You’re not alone.❤️ I’ve been there with both my dogs - Jake & Shadow Dawn - and I'm a professional trainer who specializes in working with reactive dogs! It hits different when it's your own dog and I well know the heartbreak, guilt and frustration of raising a reactive dog. I also know the fierce love that keeps you and other reactive dog parents showing up anyway.
I also know this: Your dog isn’t broken and you’re not failing as a dog parent. Your situation can absolutely get better!
Get Compassionate Help with Your Reactive Dog
I specialize in reactive dog training and have worked with hundreds of dogs and their parents. My methods are positive, personalized and meet you where you and your dog are right now. I've even developed my own signature system for working with reactive dogs that builds your and your dog's confidence, gives you the leash handling skills you need to be successful in any situation with your dog, customizes enrichment activities that get the best results for your dog, allows you to reframe how you see your dog's behavior and builds new appropriate behaviors your dog can feel good about choosing over their former reactive outbursts.
Whether your dog is fearful, overexcited or has a history of aggression, I'll customize a training plan that helps you both feel safe, calm and connected so you can enjoy walks - and all your activities - together.
📅 Ready to start? Click here to book a free consultation or take this free course to get on the path toward calmer walks with your dog.
